these are not the droids you're looking for

Hey, can I recommend something to you completely unsolicited?

If your kids like Star Wars but you like your walls/furniture/kids' skulls/wallet too much to get one of those stupid overpriced light-up light sabers from the toy store, might I suggest this thing?




I think it's actually a party favor, but it's essentially a white foam tube--the consistency is similar to those foam pool noodles, only smaller--wrapped around a series of different colored LED lights.  There are five settings, so you can have the light saber flash red (Darth Vader), blue (Obi Wan), green (Luke Skywalker circa "Return of the Jedi"), slow rainbow (in which it cycles through all the colors, including all the in-between colors like purple and pink and turquoise), and Cal's personal favorite, ULTRA-KINETIC RAINBOW STROBE (likely not recommended for epileptics--it is kind of intense).

They are cheap and they are blunt and they are foam so even if someone gets hit in the face with it...several times...no one will be the worse for wear.  Also probably a nice party favor for your next Star Wars-themed birthday party-slash-rave.






(I remember, back when Cal was wee, when I used to have this blanket rule that we wouldn't allow any kind of mock weaponry in the house on the basis that it would promote aggression or something. I WAS SO YOUNG THEN. Later I realized that basically everything could become a light saber, including the cardboard core of gift paper wrap. Not very sturdy, those, and oh, THE TEARS when they eventually bent and unravelled.)

(I still have a "no toy gun" rule, though. Not even water guns. Unless they are shaped like a non-gun, like, I don't know, a dolphin that squirts water. I don't like guns.)

(You heard me, Charlton Heston. Yes, yes, from your cold dead hands, I know.)