like a kid in a crystal-cut glass saxophone store

What I wish they sold at the hospital gift shop:




What they actually sell at the hospital gift shop:





I suspect this overload of Precious Items may be because the only people that actually shop at the hospital gift shop are the elderly ladies who volunteer there. But...dude. Who ever heard of a hospital gift shop that doesn't sell bags of chips? How is anyone supposed to feel better around here without the healing power of Cheetos?