A day at the plastic surgery center.
one of these things is not like the other
I was driving the other day when I got stopped behind this car, which was, in the fashion of the times, bedecked with many an opinionated bumper sticker.
Now, this is not a knock on the politics expressed via bumper sticker. People certainly have the right to express themselves via rear window decal, just so long as it isn't with a "Calvin peeing" logo. However, it occurred to me that one of these bumper stickers was not quite in line with the others. See if you can spot it.
(Note also, that the hood of my car was covered in a fine dusting of yellow pollen. Welcome to springtime in Atlanta. I can't tell if everything is yellow because it is coated in pollen, or if it is actually my eyeballs themselves that are coated.)
I was driving the other day when I got stopped behind this car, which was, in the fashion of the times, bedecked with many an opinionated bumper sticker.
Now, this is not a knock on the politics expressed via bumper sticker. People certainly have the right to express themselves via rear window decal, just so long as it isn't with a "Calvin peeing" logo. However, it occurred to me that one of these bumper stickers was not quite in line with the others. See if you can spot it.
(Note also, that the hood of my car was covered in a fine dusting of yellow pollen. Welcome to springtime in Atlanta. I can't tell if everything is yellow because it is coated in pollen, or if it is actually my eyeballs themselves that are coated.)
now where's the part where the clucking bunny poops cadbury creme eggs?
So Cal had a good time with the Easter egg hunt, so much so that he asked if I would re-hide the eggs so that he could find them again. I figured, what the hell. (We ended up doing it three time.)
Good thing we're not playing that "Easter Bunny" ruse, or else Cal may have been tipped off by the fact that said bunny apparently does all his basket shopping at Target and somehow forgot to remove the price tag. That's because he wants you to know how much he spent, Cal! The Easter Bunny loves you $1.99 worth of love units.
Also, if you thought that it was bad enough that our Christmas tree is up, check this out...
Think of it this way: six months early for next Halloween.
So Cal had a good time with the Easter egg hunt, so much so that he asked if I would re-hide the eggs so that he could find them again. I figured, what the hell. (We ended up doing it three time.)
Good thing we're not playing that "Easter Bunny" ruse, or else Cal may have been tipped off by the fact that said bunny apparently does all his basket shopping at Target and somehow forgot to remove the price tag. That's because he wants you to know how much he spent, Cal! The Easter Bunny loves you $1.99 worth of love units.
Also, if you thought that it was bad enough that our Christmas tree is up, check this out...
Think of it this way: six months early for next Halloween.
because i feel the need to incorporate more candy into my childrens' lives
So I was most of the way through writing another entry, which was about how I went to Cal's class play post-call (the theme of the play was water conservation, and my favorite moment was towards the end, when they turned out the lights and all the kids sang "Purple Rain" while waving violet glow sticks--no, I'm not kidding). In particular, I was discussing how I looked and felt like a college kid after pulling an all-nighter--bed head, yoga pants, difficulty focusing on conversation--and how amongst all the real grown-ups in the audience, I felt like some kind of grown-up impersonator. But then I re-read the entry and decided against posting it, mostly because it sounded kind of pathetic. Hide your shame!
So instead I'm going to talk about Easter. Seasonal!
I didn't grow up celebrating Easter. I have no problem with Easter, it seems nice enough, but unlike Christmas, there just didn't seem to be as much of a societal push for the secular aspects of the celebration, so my experience with the holiday is purely limited to craft: cold, vinegar-y eggs tinted vague shades of pastel, wads of plastic grass glued to posterboard, and whatever else my elementary school art teacher insisted on. I had never been on an egg hunt, never received and Easter basket, and really had only the vaguest notion of what all else the trappings of the holiday entailed. Ham, right? People bake a ham? Oh, and also wear big hats with flowers on them. Wait, am I confusing "Easter" with the Ascot Opening Day number in "My Fair Lady?" Probably.
Anyway, Easter. Seems fun enough, but growing up as a Chinese kid in Manhattan, I never partook. However, now we live in Georgia, and Easter is a much bigger deal. I'm not saying people are ramming it down our throats or anything, like, CELEBRATE EASTER SAYETH THE LORD, but there's definitely a lot more, "What are you doing for Easter?" and "Are the kids looking forward to Easter?" than I had been accustomed to. And after a certain point, I started to feel like I was damn near depriving my kids because I hadn't made any elaborate plans to let them run around the yard looking for candy encased in plastic eggs. I was the enemy of fun!
So, this year: eggs and candy.
It was all kind of a last minute decision--the kids and I just dropped by Target this morning to pick up some of the more classic accoutrement (basket, eggs, "fun sized" Kit Kats), and we still have to figure out what exactly we're going to do with it all, but dammit, we're doing this thing. The only thing is, I'm not quite sure that Cal's going to buy the whole "Easter Bunny" bit (he believes in Santa Claus, but that's because we've always talked about Santa Claus instead of trying to inject him into the narrative midway through his childhood--also, Santa Claus is a human, with opposable thumbs, which makes the act of stealthily dropping off gifts and such more plausible) but Joe and I will just hide the eggs and Cal will find them. And, probably like Halloween, he will probably be initially really excited that there's candy inside, but then soon forget all about the candy and we will have yet another bag of slowly dessicating chocolate bars sitting high up on a shelf somewhere until someone mercifully decides to throw them away.
(Also, blah blah blah Rites of Spring Joyful Childhood Wonder etcetera.)
Easter!
So I was most of the way through writing another entry, which was about how I went to Cal's class play post-call (the theme of the play was water conservation, and my favorite moment was towards the end, when they turned out the lights and all the kids sang "Purple Rain" while waving violet glow sticks--no, I'm not kidding). In particular, I was discussing how I looked and felt like a college kid after pulling an all-nighter--bed head, yoga pants, difficulty focusing on conversation--and how amongst all the real grown-ups in the audience, I felt like some kind of grown-up impersonator. But then I re-read the entry and decided against posting it, mostly because it sounded kind of pathetic. Hide your shame!
So instead I'm going to talk about Easter. Seasonal!
I didn't grow up celebrating Easter. I have no problem with Easter, it seems nice enough, but unlike Christmas, there just didn't seem to be as much of a societal push for the secular aspects of the celebration, so my experience with the holiday is purely limited to craft: cold, vinegar-y eggs tinted vague shades of pastel, wads of plastic grass glued to posterboard, and whatever else my elementary school art teacher insisted on. I had never been on an egg hunt, never received and Easter basket, and really had only the vaguest notion of what all else the trappings of the holiday entailed. Ham, right? People bake a ham? Oh, and also wear big hats with flowers on them. Wait, am I confusing "Easter" with the Ascot Opening Day number in "My Fair Lady?" Probably.
Anyway, Easter. Seems fun enough, but growing up as a Chinese kid in Manhattan, I never partook. However, now we live in Georgia, and Easter is a much bigger deal. I'm not saying people are ramming it down our throats or anything, like, CELEBRATE EASTER SAYETH THE LORD, but there's definitely a lot more, "What are you doing for Easter?" and "Are the kids looking forward to Easter?" than I had been accustomed to. And after a certain point, I started to feel like I was damn near depriving my kids because I hadn't made any elaborate plans to let them run around the yard looking for candy encased in plastic eggs. I was the enemy of fun!
So, this year: eggs and candy.
It was all kind of a last minute decision--the kids and I just dropped by Target this morning to pick up some of the more classic accoutrement (basket, eggs, "fun sized" Kit Kats), and we still have to figure out what exactly we're going to do with it all, but dammit, we're doing this thing. The only thing is, I'm not quite sure that Cal's going to buy the whole "Easter Bunny" bit (he believes in Santa Claus, but that's because we've always talked about Santa Claus instead of trying to inject him into the narrative midway through his childhood--also, Santa Claus is a human, with opposable thumbs, which makes the act of stealthily dropping off gifts and such more plausible) but Joe and I will just hide the eggs and Cal will find them. And, probably like Halloween, he will probably be initially really excited that there's candy inside, but then soon forget all about the candy and we will have yet another bag of slowly dessicating chocolate bars sitting high up on a shelf somewhere until someone mercifully decides to throw them away.
(Also, blah blah blah Rites of Spring Joyful Childhood Wonder etcetera.)
Easter!
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